This is Kinda Embarrassing

Self-awareness is essential for entrepreneurs seeking authenticity and personal growth. I’ve learned that it's not about being smaller or bigger in the presence of authority figures; it’s about being comfortable with who you truly are.

Why Do We Shrink in the Presence of Authority?

During a recent VIP dinner at a conference, I found myself sitting next to a well-known speaker, someone who was highly accomplished and respected. As he spoke, I noticed my head bobbling in agreement, even though his points weren’t particularly groundbreaking. What struck me was how I physically made myself smaller at the table, as if to diminish my own presence in the face of his authority.

This behavior isn’t uncommon. Many of us have experienced it, especially when we’re around individuals we perceive as having more authority or success. It often starts in childhood with authority figures we don’t choose, and it can continue with bosses and mentors throughout our careers. We tend to agree with their statements without challenging them, and we minimize our own knowledge and contributions.

How Does This Affect Our Growth?

For years, I played this game of comparison, measuring myself against others. I believed that by making myself smaller, I was being humble and learning. However, I soon realized that this mindset was limiting my growth. It wasn’t just about humility; it was about a lack of self-esteem and confidence in my own abilities.

When I finally recognized this pattern, I overcorrected by trying to puff myself up, projecting an image of being the expert with all the answers. Yet, in doing so, I was still playing the same game of comparison. Whether I was making myself smaller or bigger, I was still measuring my worth against others.

What Is the Third Option?

After decades of this struggle, I discovered a third option: instead of shrinking or puffing up, I could simply be my actual size. This realization was liberating. It allowed me to embrace my authenticity without the pressure of comparison.

Now, when I feel that familiar urge to shrink or puff myself up in the presence of someone I perceive as more successful, I remind myself that it’s okay to just be me. It’s normal to feel those automatic feelings, but they don’t have to dictate my behavior or self-worth.

How Can You Cultivate Self-Awareness?

1. **Recognize Your Patterns**: Start by acknowledging when you feel the urge to either shrink or puff up. Awareness is the first step toward change.

2. **Practice Self-Reflection**: Spend time reflecting on your interactions with others, especially those you view as authority figures. What feelings arise? How do you respond?

3. **Embrace Authenticity**: Accept that your value is inherent, regardless of your accomplishments or the presence of others. Embrace your unique qualities and contributions.

4. **Challenge Negative Self-Talk**: When you catch yourself comparing to others, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are valid and remind yourself of your strengths.

5. **Seek Feedback**: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can provide honest feedback. They can help you see your value from an outside perspective.

Key Takeaways

• Self-awareness allows you to recognize patterns of shrinking or puffing up in the presence of authority.
• It's crucial to embrace your authentic self instead of measuring your worth against others.
• Practicing self-reflection helps in acknowledging feelings and improving your interactions.
• Challenge negative self-talk to cultivate a healthier mindset.
• Seek supportive feedback to reinforce your self-esteem and authenticity.

In conclusion, the journey toward self-awareness and authenticity is ongoing. I still experience moments where I feel smaller or the pull to exaggerate my presence. However, the key difference now is my awareness. I know I don’t have to play the game of comparison anymore. I can simply be Chris Gray, and that is enough.