
9 Year Old Girls Smarter Than Me
Chris Gray
Mentor
In this post, Chris Gray shares valuable insights learned while watching his daughter's soccer game, highlighting the importance of self-awareness and enjoying the journey over the destination.
At my daughter's soccer game, I witnessed a moment that profoundly impacted my perspective on life and personal development. While the team was struggling on the field, I realized that the girls were having fun, regardless of the score. This experience taught me an invaluable lesson about self-awareness and the importance of enjoying the journey.
What Did I Learn from a Soccer Game?
Watching a group of nine-year-old girls play soccer, I found myself getting frustrated. They were losing badly, and it seemed that no one cared—not the players, not the parents, and honestly, not even me at times. My anger, however, had little to do with the game itself. It was a reflection of my own struggles with self-worth and the fear of failure.
Why Did Their Indifference Frustrate Me?
As I sat on the sidelines, I wanted someone to care about the outcome. I wanted the girls to fight for every goal, and I wanted the parents to put down their phones and cheer them on. But in retrospect, I realized that my frustration stemmed from my own insecurities. I’ve always tied my worth to success. For me, losing meant losing a piece of my identity.
How Do Kids Teach Us About Enjoying the Process?
These girls were out there playing not just to win, but to enjoy the game. They were living in the moment, experiencing joy in the simple act of playing soccer. This stood in stark contrast to how I had approached challenges throughout my life. I’ve often felt that every setback was a reflection of my failure, rather than an opportunity to learn and grow.
What Can We Learn from Their Perspective?
Here are some key points I took away from that game:
- Embrace the journey: Life is not just about winning; it’s also about the experiences we gather along the way.
- Detach from outcomes: Our self-worth should not hinge on success or failure. Instead, we should find value in our efforts and growth.
- Be present: Enjoying the moment can lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment in both personal and professional realms.
- Encourage playfulness: Adopting a playful mindset can foster creativity, innovation, and resilience.
How Can We Apply This Lesson in Business?
As an entrepreneur, I often feel the pressure to perform and deliver results. The fear of failure can be paralyzing, leading to anxiety and self-doubt. However, observing those young girls reminded me that the best ideas and innovations often come from a place of play and exploration, rather than strict adherence to goals.
Here’s how you can apply these insights to your entrepreneurial journey:
- Experiment without fear: Take risks and try new things without the pressure of needing to succeed. Each attempt is a learning opportunity.
- Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge progress, no matter how minor. This builds momentum and encourages a positive mindset.
- Foster a supportive environment: Create a culture where failure is seen as a stepping stone to success rather than a setback.
Key Takeaways
- Embrace the journey, not just the destination.
- Detach your self-worth from outcomes.
- Be present and enjoy the process.
- Encourage playfulness in your approach to challenges.
The next time you find yourself getting frustrated over a loss or a setback, remember those nine-year-old girls. They taught me that every game is an opportunity to learn, grow, and enjoy the process. As I continue to watch them play and take losses, I know my frustration will return—but at least now, I understand its source.
Life is too short to be defined solely by wins and losses. Let’s strive to enjoy the game, whatever it may be.
Follow me on Instagram @yochrisgray for more insights on self-awareness and personal development!

